I was checking my email this morning and came across the most ridiculous fraud email I’ve seen yet. I’m not sure what these people that write these things are thinking, but they need to start thinking about careers in comedy.
So without further ado:
(this email was marked to me from “Federal Bureau of Investigation firstname.lastname@example.org”)
From Federal Bureau of Investigation Tue Jan 13 04:05:28 2009
Authentication-Results: mta254.mail.mud.yahoo.com from=state.gov; domainkeys=neutral (no sig)
Received: from 126.96.36.199 (EHLO smtp19.orange.fr) (188.8.131.52)
by mta254.mail.mud.yahoo.com with SMTP; Mon, 12 Jan 2009 20:05:14 -0800
Received: from smtp19.orange.fr (mwinf1926 [172.22.129.126])
by mwinf1905.orange.fr (SMTP Server) with ESMTP id A397C5C00568;
Tue, 13 Jan 2009 05:05:13 +0100 (CET)
Received: from User (82-34-67-208.cable.ubr02.gill.blueyonder.co.uk [184.108.40.206])
by mwinf1926.orange.fr (SMTP Server) with ESMTP id 620A01C00086;
Tue, 13 Jan 2009 05:04:08 +0100 (CET)
From: “Federal Bureau of Investigation”
Subject: ATM CARD PAYMENT (805)
Date: Mon, 12 Jan 2009 20:05:28 -0800
Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI)
Anti-Terrorist And Monitory Crime Division.
Federal Bureau Of Investigation.
J.Edgar.Hoover Building Washington Dc
Customers Service Hours–Monday To Saturday:
Office Hours Monday To Saturday:
This is to Officially inform you that it has come to our notice and we have thoroughly Investigated with the help of our Intelligence Monitoring Network System that you are having an illegal Transaction with Impostors claiming to be Prof. Charles C. Soludo of the Central Bank Of Nigeria, Mr. Patrick Aziza, Mr Frank Nweke, none officials of Oceanic Bank, Zenith Banks, kelvin Young of HSBC, Ben of FedEx, Ibrahim Sule,Larry Christopher, Dr. Usman Shamsuddeen, Puppy Scammers are impostors claiming to be the Federal Bureau Of Investigation. During our Investigation, we noticed that the reason why you have not received your payment is because you have not fulfilled your Financial Obligation given to you in respect of your Contract/Inheritance Payment.
The New American President Barrack Obama have made way to all americans who have not yet received their payment, In recent ages, The American experienced difficulties in receiving their funds because of the former presidents of USA, As you know quite well that Nigeria is a black country and the Past American presidents treats the blacks in the america like slaves, The White americans practice races against the blacks and the Nigerian Government is not happy about this and this is the main reason why your payment have been delayed with one excuse or the other, Your New President Barrack Obama had a meeting with the Nigerian President some weeks ago and for the fact, Barrack Obama is a black man and will stop races in America, All americans are eligible to receive their payment now without anymore headaches. This is a good news to you so act fast and receive your payment now without anymore delay.
Please I have taken this measure, having observed and known what you have suffered in your pursuit so far to claim your funds with fake banks IN AFRICA ESPECIALLY NIGERIA(CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA/ FAKE SCURITY BANK) e.t.c and I have understood that it would take a long rough journey for you to receive this funds through ATM CARD Payment, this is while we have gone this extra mile in making sure that you receive immediately your deposit through this safe means where there will be no trail and error or stories. Since your deposit was called back to Africa and was converted into the Ecowas treasury after arresting all the people involved in scaming you both from NIGERIA, Benin Republic and UK
Therefore, we have contacted the Federal Ministry Of Finance on your behalf and they have brought a solution to your problem by cordinating your payment in total USD$11,000.000.00 in an ATM CARD which you can use to withdraw money from any ATM MACHINE CENTER anywhere in the world with a maximum of $4000 to $5000 United States Dollars daily. You now have the lawful right to claim your fund in an ATM CARD.
Since the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) is involved in this transaction, you have to be rest assured for this is 100% risk free it is our duty to protect the American Citizens. All I want you to do is to contact the ATM CARD CENTER via email for their requirements to proceed and procure your Approval Slip on your behalf which will cost you $250.00 only and note that your Approval Slip which contains details of the agent who will process your transaction.
NAME: MR. DANIEL SMITH
Do contact Mr. Daniel Smith of the ATM CARD DEPARTMENT with your details:
So your files would be updated after which he will send the payment information’s which you’ll use in making payment of $250.00 via Western Union Money Transfer or Money Gram Transfer for the procurement of your Approval Slip after which the delivery of your ATM CARD will be effected to your designated home address without any further delay. We order you get back to this office after you have contacted the ATM SWIFT CARD CENTER and we do await your response so we can move on with our Investigation and make sure your ATM SWIFT CARD gets to you.
We assure you that your parcel will arrive your country within 2 days as soon as this company receive the payment of $250 by you and the tracking number of your parcel will be sent to you via e-mail immediately so that you can track it yourself to see whether we are competent in the discharge of our duties.
Thanks and hope to read from you soon.
ROBERT S. MUELLER,
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE
WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535
Note: Do disregard any email you get from any impostors or offices claiming to be in possession of your ATM CARD, you are hereby advice only to be in contact with Mr. Daniel Smith of the ATM CARD CENTRE who is the rightful person to deal with in regards to your ATM CARD PAYMENT and forward any emails you get from impostors to this office so we could act upon and commence investigation.
Here Fenella stands next to me, the Twilight Wolf. I’m fairly certain she was contemplating what in the world she’s supposed to do with a wolf pacing around on her deck, which I’m sure was a first for her.
I have a few suggestions in that regard, which may very well provide all parties involved with a howling good time. I present said suggestions in no particular order or priority:
- Scooby Snacks
- Tummy Rubs
- Hide & Seek
- Tummy Rubs
- Tummy Rubs
- Lots of Petting and Nuzzling
- Tummy Rubs
- Hunting Expeditions
- Tummy Rubs
- Going for Walks
- Tummy Rubs
- Live Prey
- Tummy Rubs
The picture says it all. No matter what I try, I cannot get Yahoo! Messenger 9.0 to install onto my laptop with Microsoft Windows XP SP3. Each and every time I try I get the same message.
I have tried various methods of installation, including turning my anti-virus and firewall off, instead of using the supplied installation mode. I have run CCleaner in advance, cleaned my registry, and even defragmented my hard drive. I have tried deleting the Yahoo! Messenger folder from my programs directory, as well as removing any other Yahoo! related items on my computer. I have gone to the Adobe website and installed the latest version of the Flash player. I have even tried installing it while in Safe Mode.
I have also tried voodoo tactics such as trying to hold my mouth in the proper position, making a ward-evil sign, and even jumped up and down and spun around 3 times while singing the Battle Hymn of the Republic.
Yahoo! Messenger 9.0 installed and now runs without error on my Microsoft Windows Vista x64 system, but as far as my XP laptop, no dice.
Have you ever had a lucid dream? How about a lucid dream so deeply rooted into your conscious that you swear it was real and not a dream at all, no matter how improbable or impossible the events were?
I had such a dream the other night. It must have been a dream, because the possibility of what happened being reality are so minute that it borders on absolute impossibility.
But what if your deepest, most powerful instincts keep arguing with your conscious thoughts over it? Instinct versus Education, each battling to be king of the hill.
What if instinct is right, and education was wrong? What if the scientifically impossible is possible? What if you face your issue head on and the most unlikely of answers is actually truth? How do you face the possibility of an answer so terrifying that it has unfathomable repercussions?
I question my sanity for believing the impossible was possible, for even considering for a moment that reality could be that distorted. Yet I can’t shake the the feeling that it is real. Maybe I need it to be real. Perhaps if it were real, then my own problems become nothing more than a minor annoyance in the face of a much more terrifying reality.
It’s time to wake up.
Captain’s Log: Stardate -315935.64
I have received communication today from the Klingon Federation High Council that I believe to be a very promising joint venture against the Borg invasion.
I went to the grocery store this morning to pick up some, you guessed it, groceries of all things. I was going to pick up a few things for Christmas dinner, such as turkey, butternut squash, yams, and spiced apple rings.
Okay, I live outside of a very small town, population: shameful. Nevertheless we have a Publix grocer. This is not some backwoods mom and pop grocer, this is Publix, a well known grocer in the southeastern United States.
“Welcome to the Deep South, dear Rhonda, may your stay here be an enlightening one.” That is what I keep telling myself, it’s a learning experience, getting to know life in various geographical cultures.
First stop, butternut squash. I picked up two of them, they were very nice looking as far as butternut squash go. So far so good!
Second stop, yams. No yams. “Excuse me, where are the yams?” The produce manager didn’t even know what a yam was. I tried to explain. I got directed to the sweet potatoes, being told that yam is just another word for a sweet potato. Thanks o ye knowledgeable produce manager. I don’t want sweet potatoes, I want yams, there is a difference. Oh well, sweet potatoes it is.
Third stop, spiced apple rings. “Excuse me, where are the spiced apple rings?” The pimply teenager directed me back to the produce department. No, I don’t want fresh apples, I want spiced apple rings in a jar. I get told they don’t sell those. What do I find instead? Pickled Peaches.
I kid you not. They don’t sell spiced apple rings. You have to buy pickled peaches instead. Who the hell pickles a peach? Who the hell eats peaches that have been soaking in a jar of vinegar? The things looked like gelatinous peach colored goo floating around in a specimen jar. No thank you!
Of course, I really shouldn’t have been surprised, after all, this particular store offers no less than three different brands of pickled pigs feet, of which you can also buy the economy 5 gallon jar size. All that’s missing is Granny’s possum vittles over in the hot foods section.
This week I migrated my 4 disc RAID 0+1 array to a RAID 5 array using the nForce RAID management software utility that came with my XFX nForce 680i LT motherboard. The transition from one array to the other took the better part of the day, but I feel it was well worth the time, and everything went smoothly with no problems detected.
I have 4 identical Seagate Barracuda ST3250410AS 7200.10 250GB drives that I use for my RAID array. I started out wanting a RAID array when I built my computer because I wanted a bit of redundancy since I got a little paranoid over a recent hard drive failure on my old computer that left all data on it unrecoverable. At the time, RAID 0+1 seemed like the perfect answer for both performance and redundancy, and for all intents and purposes I had for it, it was more than adequate.
Lately though I’ve been wanting more storage space, but with my budget now being in the red, I’ve decided to migrate to a RAID 5 array using the perfectly good HDD’s I already have, as opposed to paying for larger drives that I really can’t afford right now. RAID 5 still offers all the read performance I could ever need, and the slower write performance is a non-issue with me, it also seems that my system is powerful enough that it doesn’t suffer any noticeable performance loss when processing the parity data.
This has given a much needed increase in storage capacity, going from 500GB of storage in RAID 0+1 to 750GB of storage using RAID 5. Yes, I could have 1TB of storage if I used JBOD, RAID 0, or used them as just single drives, but I am very much enjoying having a bit of data loss protection should I lose a drive.
To further increase performance, I installed a 5th HDD I had laying around from my old computer, a Western Digital Caviar 250GB, that the system uses for virtual memory, and also serves as a scratch disk for Adobe Photoshop.